The Hashtag Hottest 100

Each year, as the December days begin to roll in and the sweat begins to pool in places I’d rather it not, I stare out into the wide-open world and ponder one simple question. Who will I vote for in this year’s hashtag hottest one-hundred? Who out of the plethora of bands who have graced my ears this year will make it into my top ten shortlist? Who. Will. Win? A second question then quickly flies through my undecided and emotionally hostile psyche. Why the fuck do I care?

Why the fuck do I care about the hashtag hottest one-hundred? I haven’t listened to triple j in over three years. I’m not some chum who’s forced into the archaic practice of tuning knobs into an AM/FM receiver. Better known as a radio to the kids. I have Spotify. I have the internet at my fingertips. I have the accessibility to a diverse array of playlists, new music and old, and dare I say it The Radio Friendly Weekly Playlist (subscribe). I don’t need to be listening to a half-baked/hungover twenty-something-year-old play Skeggs/Dune Rats/Vera Blue/Hilltop Hoods/Ball Park Music/DMA’s/CHRVCHES/Tash Sultana at various time slots throughout the day.

Why the fuck do I care about the hashtag hottest one-hundred? Is it because I like the random validation of showcasing my #hottest100top10 to the wider world? Even though none of my picks will make the top one-hundred. Hell, top two-hundred if I’m lucky. Was Iceage played on Triple J this year? I might get in with Parquet Courts and DJ Koze, but what about The Lemon Twigs? Each year I find myself manually entering my choice of song in the voting card, because Triple J hasn’t shortlisted it already for me.

‘I really liked Fabric off BROCKHAMPTON’s iridescence album. But it’s not shortlisted already by Triple J. Ah, I won’t vote for it.’

‘John Butler’s Home was a feature album on Double J (the sister station to Triple J), but why isn’t his single Just Call shortlisted? Home is.’

‘Why vote anyway?’ the question I’ve asked myself for two years. Your weird, indie picks won’t come close to the top one-hundred. Triple J have their safe artists, the ones mentioned earlier. If they play enough Skeggs/Dune Rats/ Vera Blue/Hilltop Hoods throughout the year, you can bet they’ll make the final list. It’s not rocket science, it’s just a simple algorithm. Or brainwashing. You decide.

This year I’m not voting. Because I don’t care.

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