Sometimes I Fucking Hate Social Media

Sometimes I fucking hate social media. And by sometimes, I mean most times.  My day job is pretty much managing and uploading content for social media.  Be it stories, video or imagery.  I’m a communications officer.  Which is fancier than it sounds.  An officer, as if I have a badge and a gun and walk around giving tickets to people for all their wrong-doings.  Except I don’t have a gun and a badge.  All I have is a camera in hand and an aura that floats around me that screams ‘he’s the guy who uploads to Facebook.’  The job itself is fine, it keeps me on my toes.  It’s creative, kind of.  I get to write, at least, and I get to work with video content.  Really, it’s one of those ‘first of its kind’ sort of job; managing, searching for, and creating content for a business.  All for social media.  You need to adapt and innovate and look for the next big story. Big is a misleading term, really, it’s whatever will get the likes. It just means seventy-five-percent of my day is spent in front of a computer, scrolling through social media, observing the decline of human evolution.

When I was at school, social media had just come out.  We were the Myspace generation.  We understood HTML at an early age, because how else were you going to get flash to work on your Myspace page without knowing a little of the hyper text mark-up language?  Online bullying became a term used a lot, a buzz word if you will, but no one really knew how to monitor or punish the crime itself.  I was prolific online, because I was handy with computers, I was a fast learner, and had a lot of spare time on my 16-year-old hands.  When I was punished for some insensitive online behaviour, the school told me to delete my personal Facebook.  As if they could dictate what I did my personal online profile.  I did delete my personal Facebook.  And a week later I made a new one under a new email like any sane person would.  Chums. 

When my generation of MSN/Myspace addicts were at school, we were taught the dangers of uploading our lives to the internet.  We were taught to be aware of who we engaged with online. We would watch seminars about cyber security, we would be scared off the internet temporarily after learning how paedophiles lure innocent kids into unspeakable acts, all from behind a computer screen.  We were told to not publicly invite people to parties via Facebook, as teachers demonised the rumpus and destructive behaviour of Corey Feldman.  And what does consistent conversations about danger and fear, with the aim for us to stop abusing social media, do over time?  Well I guess it works.  Or at least, it’s tired us out.  Because I fucking hate social media now. 

The irony of the situation now is that those who told us not to post our lives on social media are doing the exactly what they told us not to.  The older generation are now prolific posters of all things personal.  While Gen Y and Gen Z tighten the belts on their posting regimes, the oldies share their deepest and most intimate feelings in word form.  Often with the slight undertones of racism/misogyny that goes hand in hand with those late to the party. I don’t give a fuck what you ate for dinner last night or who you were catching up with.  Want a recommendation for a new accountant?  How about you fucking google it like a normal person.  Or ask your immediate friend group, not your extensive list of online acquaintances. That’s cool, your kid made a mess of their room.  Why don’t you share it with six-hundred of your closest friends, five-hundred and eighty of which wouldn’t even know the name of the messy culprit.  I fucking hate social media now.

Social media, Facebook and Twitter to be more specific, has given a world-wide population a platform in which to publish their voice.  Their racist, bigoted, selfish, rarely endearing voice.  I guess I’m no better, I use it to share my opinions and share my written voice with as many people as possible.  The only difference is I can string a fucking sentence together and make it semi-entertaining.  I often think about my ultimate dislike for online social interactions, and I think, why don’t I just do something about it.  Why don’t I cull my Facebook friends, or unfollow those whose posts piss me off?  That’s a good question, Conscious.  My feed is mostly made up of pregnant posts, new born babies, racists, sexists, and funny memes.  A good culling might be in order. But how else am I going to get those dank memes? Now can someone please tell all these oldies to stop posting their lives to social media.  I don’t care too much about their safety, it’s just fucking annoying.

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